Holding On
by raiaR6
Summary: R is dead again. He became part of the undead for the second time, being forced into finding his own cure once again. This time, will he have Julie to help him through it? Or will he be undead all alone?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! So these first few chapters will be shorter, because they're R's memories skipping around. So, I'm trying to capture that. Enjoy and tell me what you think!**

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My body aches. I twist and turn, curling into myself. Nothing helps. I think I am dying. I consider my exits; negotiate with the voices in my head. They do not reply to my own gagging remarks. They continue as if I did not say a word.

Several voices are audible. A girl, a man, another man, and another girl. Nora, Grigio, M, and Julie. Her voice is softer than the others, yet filled with the most emotion. Does she know I'm dying? Does she know my eyes are most likely never to be opened ever again? Until I'm dead. Then they'll snap open; my natural blue buried by a ghostly grey.

I feel the poison in my veins. They burn the cell walls and drown the oxygen. I am dying. Or maybe already dead. Could this be the afterlife? The real one? Not the cursed one given to us like a large, overdue prank?

"R," the voice is far off, like a hazy dream. I can't grasp who's saying it. "R." It says something again. I can't focus. I see blood on the back of my eyelids. The sweet, thick essence of life sparking in images like an old, broken tape.

The words blend together now. Some words repeating twice. I picture a scuffed record. I want to wipe the dust away, but I can't reason with my body's extensions. Are they extensions? Or are they just something evolved and molded onto our bones, connecting with core structures until they create something more? New bones. They exist for a reason.

Fingers. The body's extensions. I can't move them now. I can't feel them. I am numb and lifeless.


	2. Chapter 2

I am dead. But it's acceptable. I've agreed to the rotting skin and deteriorating bones. I understand what I am. But it's something I never want to be. Maybe I am blind to death. I cannot see what it truly means anymore. Because I've died twice.

But it's okay. I've agreed to live undead. But starting all over is hard. It's like walking into high school on the first day and being clueless. Speechless. Possibly amazed, but I don't think I can feel that in this state.

As I ponder over my new existence, I feel a rough slap on my shoulder. My heavy eyelids flutter open and I am greeted by a blonde woman. "R…" She says softly, her voice shielded and melodic. I realize she's trying to keep me calm. I realize too late. I spring towards her, feeling the immediate pressure of a gun on the back of my head. But it does not go off.

* * *

I am nameless again. I am displeased and empty. My mind is broken. I am lifeless.

A girl hovers over me and smiles. Her mouth opens again and words flow out. I hear nothing besides the underlying, scratchy texture of overused vocal cords. She speaks again, her lips moving in union with words I can't grasp. But I'm hungry. My throat burns with such intensity it could trick me into thinking I just devoured the sun.

She is whispering now, her pale fingers curling and weaving throughout my black hair. She bends down and whispers into my ear. "R," the young girl croaks. It is the only letter I capture. I groan, my stomach churning at her scent. I feel her breath on my cheek, but I do not feel the heat as much as I would like. It feels numbing.

She rests her forehead on mine. "R," she repeats, the strength I had detected in her voice earlier nearly gone. She's near tears. "R, you idiot. Answer me." Anger. She's angry.

I am missing something. There are things just not adding up.

"You kept promising to keep me safe, so can I return the favor and help you, Mr. Zombie?" She murmurs, staring directly into my eyes expectantly. But what am I supposed to offer? I can't move, I can't react. I'm paralyzed. I'm dead, possibly in transition. But my eyes are open. She knows I am aware. I can focus and blur my vision at will. I can put color to colorless things.

But I'm hungry still. A scent too strong clouds my nostrils and infiltrates my mouth. Not a scent, something stronger than that. An essence. Flesh. Blood. Meat. A life force.

I cringe, my eyes moving to the girl's face. Tears leak from her eyes, slipping down her dirt stained cheeks in streaks. Her blue eyes are freckled in a golden yellow, and in their glassy reflection, I can see my own blue, freckled golden, eyes fading. They turn a deeper grey.

Her lips separate as if she wants to say something, then snap back together. Her eyes glue onto mine. Her dark blonde eyebrows push together, wrinkling her forehead. I study her face; every pore, every scar. Every speck of dirt, every crease made from stress and worry. Every laugh line.

I find myself wondering who she is.


	3. Chapter 3

I shut my eyes. I avoid looking at her creamy skin and pink cheeks. Her slender neck. I can't look. Images appear on the inside of my eyelids.

This girl I closed my sight to is there, her features blurred by my focus. I press against the vision, willing it clearer.

_Eventually she's visible. Her curly, blonde hair flows freely behind her. A smile lights up her face. She stares directly at me. "R," this woman whispers, her lips stretching further out across her pearly white teeth._ Am I dreaming? Is this what I get to see before I truly die? Will the curse not even save me now? Will this girl not save me now?

_As if on cue, she approaches me. Her smile fades to nothing but a smirk. "Shrug," she whispers as her grin returns, her shoulders shifting upward helplessly. I turn my eyes away from her, looking around over the green field._

_A boy and a girl sit in the grass several feet away. The girl smiles and waves. The boy rolls his eyes. "Focus on me," the blonde girl whispers in front of me. I turn back to her. "Do you know who you are?"_

_I shake my head._

_"You're R." She answers, studying me with pure interest. "So, R… Tell me. What do you want to be?"_

_I remember this. It seems so familiar. The air soaking into my skin, the feel of grass tickling my legs through my jeans as I wander aimlessly through it towards her and her friends. I realize she's waiting for an answer and I shrug._

_"Stop shrugging, Shrugger." She giggles, poking my shoulder playfully. I rock back on my heels as I shrug again. She pauses and lifts an eyebrow. "Really?" I nod, wind pushing my hair away from my forehead as I blink. "Hey… R?" She whispers, bowing her head as she glances up at me._

_"Ye… Yeah?" I ask, bending down slightly to try and see her eyes that I've recently grown quite fond of._

_Tucking hair behind her ear, she looks back up at me. "You're dreaming, R. You're really dreaming. You're leaving me and you probably don't even know who I am." She whispers, her voice cracking as she fixes her eyes on her shoes. I imagine a glass sheet balanced weakly in front of her, shielding her from harm that can break it so easily. I picture it already broken. This girl was long from safety. And under the glass, staring helplessly up at me, was a destroyed girl. A girl who's felt too much pain and agony._

_"I'm… Dreaming." I mumble, agreeing with her before lowering my own eyes._

_"Close your eyes." She says after a while, her soft voice carving its own memory into my brain._

_And I obey._

* * *

_Once my eyes close, I immediately reopen them. Basically it was a blink, a very slow blink. The room around me had changed. I am standing in an airport, surrounded by eerie walls and deadly sounds. Moans echo into both my ears from all sides. I frown, turning to look over my shoulder before slowly proceeding down the hall._

_"You said a few days, R! It's been a few days!" A voice bellows behind a curve of a cement, now grey from age, wall. I try and pick up speed to follow the voice, curious as to who it was now calling "R"._

_As I round the corner, I am greeted by several bodies littering the floor. But the bodies are rotted. I grimace, turn away and face the man and woman. I can't hear the man's reply, I only see him nod in the dark. Then a shuffle and one of the dead stands._

_"What?!" A bald, heavy set man barks. He looks like hundreds of pounds of muscle and fat thrown onto a six foot tall frame. "What!" He yells again._

_And, again, the other shadowed man's reply is muted. I lean forward, risking my discovery to eavesdrop on the conversation. I sigh wearily, reluctantly caving into my failure. The other tall man's voice is drowned out by the banging pulse of the girl's heart._

_She glances at me curiously, blinking into the shadows. "R?" She asks, the bald man and the mysterious man fading from sight. I am left alone with this girl. "R, remember what you are." She silently approaches me, extending a hand in my direction. "You're R. You're human. You don't…. Kill." I stare dumbfounded at her. I don't understand what she means. I feel human. I don't kill. "R," my eyes move to hers, my chin resting against my chest as I let my head hang. Her hand lands on my arm as she whispers, "I'll keep you safe." _


	4. Chapter 4

**Longest chapter so far. I hope you guys like it! And please, try and post some comments. I'd like to know what you guys think!**

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I am awake. My eyes burst open and a loud bang interrupts the silent air, my whole body snapping backwards. "Dad! You can't just go around shooting people!" Glancing up, I identify the first speaker as the blonde girl.

"He's not part of the 'people' anymore, Julie." A deep, husky man's voice growls.

"Yeah, but he sort of saved the world…" A third voice mumbles.

"I don't care what he saved. He's dead." The supposed father grumbles in reply.

I sit up, looking down at my checkered blue shirt. Black goo is leaking from a bullet hole in my chest. It slips down the front of my body, leaking onto my black jeans. I am mesmerized by the thickness of the slime. The color resembles one of dried blood. I wonder if it truly is blood, or something new my body conjured up in relation to this curse.

"Hey," the first speaker says, possibly named Julie, shushing the disobedient father and sarcastic friend. "Does that hurt?" She asks, pointing to the wound.

I shake my head.

"Can you talk?"

I shake my head.

"Are you… Hungry?"

I pause. I don't want to answer. I don't think I can answer. Am I hungry? My stomach doesn't feel empty. I shut my eyes, concentrating on the soft breaths this girl takes.

I nod.

One sharp intake of warm air. She moves away from me.

"So… What? Do we give him brains? I mean, I'm not up for killing, but that goat outside is really-"

"Nora." This- no, Julie snaps, staring hard at the dark haired girl.

"Sheesh. I was only going to say 'annoying'." Nora mumbles under her breath, then slowly leans towards the doorway. "Let's just see what M has to say. He's gotta have some answers." The dark haired girl turns away, shifting uneasily as my eyes follow her actions. She doesn't like me. I can tell from the gleam in her eyes. I wince and look down.

Julie is at my side immediately, a hand against my arm like it was in my dream. "Jesus, Nora. Just get M." She snaps, motioning with her left hand at her friend. I suck in Julie's scent, hardly aware of the gun aimed cautiously at me. On the other side of the rifle, I see a grey haired man. His eyes look black in the light. I grimace and lower my head once again. Noticing my actions, Julie sighs. "Dad, can you leave us?"

"Julie… he's infected." The father argues, staring cold and emotionless at his daughter. I can't see her, but I can picture her frown. Her hand tightens around my arm, my blue shirt crinkling slightly under the pressure.

"Dad. Leave the gun. I'll be fine." She whispers, her eyes trained on the side of my face. I risk a glance towards her, regretting it instantly. My eyes go back to my stained jeans.

I hear the door click shut. The father is gone, leaving Julie alone with me. Like in the dream. She drops my arm and I don't feel her hand again until it's on my chin, guiding my head up. "Hey, there." She mumbles, bending down beside my outstretched legs. "Can you… Can you try talking for me?"

I don't answer, unwilling to move my head until I can form a sentence. I need words. I need to capture my thoughts and push them into sentences. I can't form the words, I can't grasp the ideas. They spiral, they flip, they spin. They move away from my grasp. I can't string the verbs and nouns and adjectives together to let her into my mind. My mind, the never-ending black hole. It kidnaps my dialogue and forces groans out of my mouth.

Julie sighs. "Okay, no need to talk." She looks at me, her majestic eyes lingering on mine. "You know, a few days ago… You were so excited for the world to be… Exhumed. Dug out from the pits of hell. You said, _'the anguish we feel for this old globe, orbiting around a sun that'll keep burning for a world that doesn't need it. That's what I used to think. It's so different now. We can change everything._' I don't know why I remember…" She smiles softly and brushes hair behind her ear. I want to touch the soft mass pouring down to her shoulders. I try to lift my hand, preparing to risk popping her protective bubble. To shatter her glass.

I can't move my arms.

She notices my struggle and bites her lip. "Nora's idea. After you… Attacked me, she suggested tying you up." Wiping her cheeks, Julie manages to get half the dirt off, the tear stains permanent until a real scrub was completed.

I look down again, at my knotted together hands. I feel imprisoned, by the rope and my own mind. My face twists into a frown. I've lost another life to this undead state. One step out the door, one step closer to a truthful death. I remember being like this before. I remember wanting to give in, but not exactly wanting the skinless body. Was I destined to be this undead creature? Is this why I cannot live a life where I breathe in the sweet air? Feel a breeze on my cheeks? _Notice things_?

"You're different still, aren't you?" Julie's voice breaks into my thoughts. But I welcome it happily. "I mean… You're seeing things, you know? You look at me and understand. You're not completely dead in there, are you?"

_No_, I want to answer, _no. I am not full-dead. I am not undead. I am not human. I don't know what I am. _


	5. Chapter 5

Julie is too close. Her arms wrap around me. Her fingers slip through my hair. Her breath is on my cheek. And I feel it. I feel the desire to crack her skull, bite through her arm. See her memories clear in my own eyes. I feel the desire to kill.

Though breathing is optional, I suck in a sharp breath anyway. I need air. I need to be away from this girl.

"R?" Julie says softly into my ear. I cringe at her voice, unwilling to fulfill my needs. "R, don't let it take you. Don't let it take you from me." As she speaks, I'm finding myself more and more confused. I don't understand what she means about taking me away from her.

I stiffly pull away from Julie, wondering if she could hear the creaks of my bones. My skin seems to have thinned; I can see the veins in my arms quite clearly. My skin is so pale. Have I been locked in a dark room for a really long time? Or does death just make us all look like freaks?

Her fingers leave my hair, her arms dropping from my shoulders. "R… You have to stay here." Julie insists, stumbling to her feet as I get to mine.

I hobble towards the door and pause before reaching it. My eyes trail over a certain table to my right, piled high with dead electronics needing a charge. Julie walks to my side, her finger tracing through dust besides an old iPod. "Nora found them all in an old Apple store. She thinks they'll be a cool thing to hand out to the kids. Something to show them we're improving."

I frown, staring hard at all the pointless technology. I don't truly remember life before my death, but technology seemed to be a huge factor in humanity's downfall. All of us, watching the world and everything else change around us through a touch screen.

"Here," Julie whispers, lifting an iPod off the table slowly. She grabs my hand, setting the electronic device into my palm. I let it sit for a moment, the coldness of its metal back matching my own frozen skin. I wonder how my body grew this cold, only to remember my blood stream has probably long since stopped.

In a matter of seconds, the music player is on the floor. The screen is cracked, fragments of glass lining my shoes. "Damn it, R." Julie mutters, bending down to pick it up. I feel her hand graze my shoe and I jump backwards drunkenly.

I can't bear to be near her anymore. I continue absorbing her scent, her life. She slowly stands back to her full height. "R…" I ignore her, my hand extending to slam down on her shoulder. She winces at my effort and tries to move backwards. I tighten my hold. "R, stop." She pleads, but I can't focus on her voice. She's in pain. I'm hurting her. "R!" She's yelling now. I continue to squeeze until I sense the blood under my hand. Her skin turns hot.

My eyes train on hers, everything else blurs. I can hear her whimpers, but my hunger has taken over. Slowly, words escape her in dramatic gasps. "I'm… Sorry." She mumbles helplessly and I cock my head in confusion.

Directly after the words slip through her lips, a gun is pressed against my chest. She decides to go after my heart, not my brain. She doesn't want me dead.

As the bullet penetrates the cells and tissues wrapping around my blackened heart, I shut my eyes. My stomach knots. I find myself wishing for an absolute darkness.

And something shifts, my very core readjusting to my new cravings. I gasp, my dry throat forcing it out in a hoarse cry. My hand falls from Julie and I propel backwards.

"R?" Julie yells, her voice sounding distant in my ears. The bullet buries deeper into me, lashing out with vigorous pain I didn't think I could feel.

Was I ever fully done with my transition? Was I ever a truly reanimated corpse this time around? Did Julie, this all too trusting girl, just kill me?

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**Once again, a shorter chapter, but I'm getting over the flu... Still, hope you enjoyed :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey, readers. Thanks for the reviews so far! I'm trying to update as fast as possible because I literally have hundreds of ideas flying around in my head. But again, thank you to the ones who have liked this, read this, favorited this and reviewed! Keep reviewing please :)**

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"_Forget-me-nots… They're flowers." Julie whispers, her fingers rubbing between the blue petals softly. "People… Put them on graves of loved ones… To remember them." She peels a petal away from the delicately structured flower. It floats down to the brown dirt below our shoes, landing gently on the grave. My eyes follow her fingers as they caress the new petal that has captured her attention. She lifts her gaze away from it and looks at me, a small smile lingering on her face. "My mom would've loved you." She mumbles, her tear ducts offering a new supple of salty water. _

"_Don't… Cry." I croak, my hand falling upon hers. I don't want another petal taken from the flower. This flower is her life line. It connects her to her memories, allowing her to float along in her own world. Her own limbo. Her own oblivious state, questioning only the things in her head. _

_She flips her hand, curling her fingers around mine. "I'm not." She whispers, using her free hand to set the broken flower on the unmarked grave. Is this flower symbolizing Julie? Slowly falling to pieces? Broken? _

_I feel a tug on my head. Julie is sitting in the dirt, her legs crossed. She continues to grip my hand. I sit beside her, watching the tears dry and stain her cheeks. Julie's eyes close, her eyelashes binding together. _

"_Why?" I ask, squirming uncomfortably in my worn, possibly moldy, red hoodie. _

_She looks up, her free hand managing to push hair from my forehead. "Why what?" _

"_Why… Would she…?" I contrive to say with my less than kindergarten vocabulary. _

"_Because I do." Julie whispers, sighing in defeat as she leans over the crumpled, sun dried flowers, left to die by the many who came before us. "She was like me, you know. But… Stronger than me. Until she... Gave up." _

_I study her. I can't take my eyes off her. Julie Grigio. I imitate her sigh as I lift a dead flower, silently wishing life into it. I want it to blossom, to have a second chance. _

"_She… Just walked out. Just couldn't handle it anymore. I don't think I could have handled it much longer, really." Julie whispers, her voice cracking with pressure she couldn't hold back any longer. _

_Who is this girl? Full of mystery and shadowed memories? Craving for a second chance, like the dead flower hanging limply from my hand? Maybe she needs hope. Maybe something in her needs to remember what it means to be human, even if I don't remember myself. Can a dead thing breathe life into another? _

"_Sometimes I wonder if anyone can handle this. Or if we're just all turning into something close to zombies. Not really human because it's better not to feel." Julie says, squeezing my hand gently before settling back, dragging me down with her. _

_Our shoulders touch, our arms intertwine. I feel her body heat and I realize she must feel none radiating from me. But she doesn't acknowledge this as she rests her head on my shoulder. How can a living, breathing human do such a thing? Accept someone who's dead? I'm a monster. I'll kill her. I'll be the end of Julie and she won't get a second chance. Because I can't resist the part of her that will light up my head like a picture tube. _

_I feel her hand on my neck. "R," she says, a calmness in her voice that nearly gives me shivers. _

_I never did get around to asking who R is. Is that me? The one syllable name? How is that to capture who I am? One letter, because all the others ran out on me. I want to know who I am, but how am I to start with no real name? Yet when Julie says it, I can't help but accept this. I am R and that's okay. _

* * *

It fades. The graveyard, the blue sky, the dead flowers, the Stadium City at our backs. I am left with a cold ground below me and bars at my sides.

I am a prisoner. I am a monster. But my cage is unlocked. I crawl over, tapping it lightly to watch the final latch release. It's too rusty to even hold a baby in.

I stagger to my feet, unconsciously shoving my plaid shirt down in a horrible attempt at getting rid of the wrinkles. Julie's blood is on my hand, but I choose to ignore it as I shove the cage door out further.

I need to get out. I need food, no matter what the consequences are. My throat burns as if I hadn't had air in years. My stomach feels empty, dried out from normal food just not being enough. I thought Julie had killed me; shooting me straight through the heart. How am I not dead? Truly dead? It hurt. I felt pain from it. But was the pain ever really physical?

I want explanations, but I don't think anyone will talk to me in this state. I am nothing. I am the scum at the bottom of the barrel. I am the mud clinging helplessly to the bottom of your shoe. I am the clouds over the sun, casting sorrow to the humans below.

I am hungry.

I shut my eyes. I sniff. I move my feet, dragging them along through the soil. My eyes reopen as I hear a gun cock. An oversized man stands before me, sweat dripping down his sunburned face. His sleeves are rolled up, exposing more red skin. He has no shoes, but I see the sandal outlines imprinted between his toes and around his ankles.

"You're… You're one of them good ones, right? Not eating us humans anymore?" He questions hesitantly, his green eyes shifting uneasily from the rifle to me. He can't decide if he shoots or not.

I wish he would. But he doesn't and I lunge. I go for his throat first, my teeth ripping the skin from his bones. I bite through the tissue and destroy the cells. I let the blood flow freely down my chin as I devour his muscle, his meat, his essence.

I move to the arm. There is more meat there, hidden behind a thick layer of fat I quickly maneuver around.

I am not proud of this. I don't like hurting people. I don't like to see their pain. But I'm starving. And why can't I try and survive as humans do? Am I not human anymore because I live in a dead host?

I change positions again, finally snapping his neck and watching him fall to the ground. I smack his head against the concrete platform several times. He's already dead, but I find a small pleasure in hearing his skull crack open. More blood flows out.

I dive in for the feast, filling my mouth with his memories and emotions. With his humanity.


	7. Chapter 7

Someone gasps behind me. It's full of surprise and disgust. I peel my lips away from the man's dislocated shoulder. Julie is standing above me, her eyes wide with rage.

She isn't scared, she doesn't run. I can see my reflection in her eyes and I cringe. Blood drips down my chin, specks cover my cheeks. My hair is damp with it. It stains my lips, which hang open numbly. I don't know what to say to her. I direct my eyes to my hands, though I wish I hadn't. They are covered in brains and more blood.

"R," Julie says, bending down cautiously a few feet away from me. "If someone sees you like this… They'll kill you."

I nod, stand up shakily and rub at my cheeks. Julie laughs light-heartedly, her hands reflexively curling around my wrists to drag my hands away. I immediately stop and let her do this. She directs my arms to my sides, then releases her grip. Her hands look as if she dragged them through red paint. She ignores it and nods back in the direction I came from.

"By that… Holding cell, there's a bathroom. We can clean you up there. I'll get Nora and M to handle… Your mess." Julie explains, glancing down at the mid-thirties looking man shredded to pieces on the ground.

"S-s… Sore…" I stutter, licking my lips only to be surprised by an irony taste on my tongue. Blood is still there.

"What?" Julie asks, shoving her eyebrows together as she studies me. My lips quiver, the words jammed in my throat. _Say something, say something… Come on. _

I gulp, forcing any possible liquids I still might have back into my empty stomach. My dead waste just itching the crawl up and take Julie into its grasp. "Sor… Sor…" I cough, a hand jumping to my throat. Why can't I get the words out? I need to escape her presence. I need to go.

I'm locking myself away. I drag myself into a state of indecision. I creep into the back of my mind, glued to the walls of my own consciousness. It's all I can think of doing. And something's there, laughing at me from inside my own head.

Perry.

_Hey, corpse. _He says, his voice echoing off and around my brain.

"Perry?" I ask, mistakenly saying it aloud. Julie glares at me, her hands curling as if she is willing to punch me in the nose.

_She won't punch you. She's always been a bit high strung with some stuff. But, I'm not here to talk about Jules. I'm here because you're dead… Again, corpse. Welcome back. _Perry's voice sounds tired, as if he had just awoken from a day's nap. Maybe that's what a true, absolute death feels like. A dream state with no dreams.

_Corpse? I asked you to keep her safe. Not to try and eat her. _Perry seems to shift in my head, poking at dead and dusty things that I cannot touch. _She can help you again. If you want it bad enough. _

I grimace, my eyes slowly fluttering shut. I don't see Julie's reaction, and I wonder if she is beginning to lose hope in me. I still have the blood of the recently dead man on my face. I still killed him. I _am _a murderer. _Perry? _ I ask as he grows quiet.

A moment of silence and I fear I am alone in my head. _Yeah, corpse? _

_Who is she? _I ask.

_She's Julie. _

I sigh. My body hurts. I'm tired. How am I tired? I don't need sleep. I reopen my eyes, staring down at Julie as she watches me with dry fascination. "Hey," she mumbles and drops a hand on my arm. She squeezes the flesh and let's go. "Come on."

Julie leads me away from the body. I let the memory wander to the back of my mind. It'll surface again, hopefully later on. When I'm alone. When Julie isn't watching me with wide eyes and sharp focus. She brings me passed the cell I had indiscreetly slipped away from. A bloody hand print is smeared onto the latch I smacked away. _Julie's blood_, Perry corrects me.

I shudder and continue on, her gentle hand finding a place in mine. Her warm fingers absorb my chill; we are two things destined to be apart. Fire and ice. Yet she doesn't let go. She keeps hold, dragging me through the quiet sanctum of what is meant to be a prison area. Or so I think, because several more cells like mine are set up around the perimeter.

I feel something inside me shift, breaking apart old cobwebs that have found their homes tangled around my organs. Dust brushes off my liver, my kidney threatens to burst into motion if I keep going on with my ways. I violate the very strict stereotype of a zombie.

Julie looks back at me, a thin eyebrow raised. She questions my weariness and I offer a shrug in return. She groans and rolls her eyes, facing front again like an eager soldier awaiting her next field mission. She stomps with a pattern, determination in every lift of the knee and focused thought with every drop of the foot.

She isn't willing to speak to me just yet. The warm liquid dripping down my face may be a large factor in why. I take on the task of trying to smear it away as we walk. My hand gains the same, repulsive color as my face. I give up and slowly slide my arm back down and away from my cheeks.

Julie stops, nodding her head towards the concrete building by her side. "I have to get Nora. You'll be fine here until I get back, okay?" Her tone is gentle, as if she is speaking to a child.

How old am I? My build suggests I am around the age of twenty. Call me hopeful. I rather be close to twenty than be stuck in the body of some teenager. I look down at my shoes, then at the cracks impersonating spider-webs on the ground. The stories behind each one, caused by Dead or Living. It still has a story, no matter how it came about.

I look up at Julie and nod. "Okay." I say and watch her walk away. Her hips sway rhythmically as she wanders back to the main road. I squeeze my eyes tightly shut. My brain feels as if it is being pierced by a knife. I groan, my head bobbing from side to side. Is this pain? Am I feeling the distressing sensation of physical suffering? I want it to go away. I want to become numb again. I don't-

_Yes you do. You want this. You need this, corpse. It's a memory. It's not bad. Relax into it. _Perry is back, his voice drained of emotion. He's tired. He's sick of me. I am what he calls me, I am a corpse. He's stuck in the body of an ageless Dead man. I almost feel bad for him. _I don't want you to feel bad for me. I'll get over being dead. And you stealing my watch. Now go clean up. _

I feel an ache in my stomach. Perry mentally kicks me into motion. I shuffle out of my trance and drag myself to the bathrooms. The door is propped open a crack, but it takes longer than usual to manage getting it open several more inches. Once in, I look up at the flickering light. It smells exactly like it looks. A bathroom that is in desperate need of a clean. Rust covers the sink and stall doors.

I trudge passed them, the smell already dull to my senses. It is barely there and I continue my hobble to the sink. I find myself thinking why I am even "cleaning up". I am Dead, splashing water on my face will not solve this.

"R?" Julie says softly from the doorway, leaning lightly against the frame. "You okay? You've been standing there for a good four minutes."

I shrug.

"Don't do that." She laughs, pushing away from the entrance to walk towards me. She stops behind me, peaking over my shoulder to look at me through the dirty glass. I shrug again. She laughs louder. "Quit that!" I watch her smile through her reflection. She stares me square in the eyes. I want to look away, but I find myself entranced by the gold.

"How… Clean?" I ask after a long, awkward moment.

Julie bites her lip, placing her hands on my shoulders to spin me around. "Well… First off the blood."

_See, corpse? She can help. _


	8. Chapter 8

Julie and I sit on the cold floor; my legs crossed, hers sprawled out to our sides. She rests back on her palms, licking her lips as she racks over ideas in her head. She doesn't know what to do with me. I wheeze involuntarily. She smiles and scoots forward, crossing her thin legs to close more distance. "Ever heard of shampoo, Mr. Zombie?" I groan at the nickname. Her smile widens. She's challenging me; to what, I don't know.

Her smile starts to fade, her focus slipping away from me. Julie's eyes grow distant; she stares at me hard as if she's looking at something underneath my gory features.

"_Ju-_... _Lie_." I say, with some difficulty. She looks up, her eyes clouded by unrealistic dreams. I don't know how to bring her back.

Slowly and unsurely, I lift my hand and move through the remaining air keeping us apart. I set my cold palm onto her chest, above her thumping heart. It seems familiar, as if I've done it before.

My head swirls, my body spasms, trying to regain the memory of another dead life. I'm about to pull my hand away when Julie grabs my wrist, keeping it in place as my body jerks around. My face twists into one of disgust, creases forming around my mouth and eyes. I don't feel pain, but the impatient gleam of the death that clutches me forces hunger into my jolting body. Hunger for pain, for sadness, for joy, for delight. For an emotional high.

I know what I want. I want Julie; every part of her. I want her thoughts; her ideas. Her soul, her mind.

_Move away from her, corpse. _Perry says cautiously, and I hear alarm in his voice. He isn't expecting this. He didn't plan for my lifeless ways to crawl back into the front of my head. What is he expecting? I still don't move away.

"There you go again." I hear Julie whisper. I don't know what she means; I didn't move. I stare blankly at her, watching her shiver slightly under my clammy hand. But she acts as if I'm the warmest thing she's ever touched. "Just dozing off. I keep wondering what you're thinking. Why you keep disappearing from reality."

I shrug. How do I tell her? My thoughts keep me sane, yet they also drag me to the unavoidable truth. I kill things, I eat things. The Living die and I stay. I stay with their DNA dripping down my chin. I stay with their souls withering away inside the chambers of my stagnant heart. "Under… Stand if…" I trail off, tapping my temple as I shake my head. I don't know how to go on. I'd like to tell her everything inside my head.

I'd like to open the rusty gates between reality and imagination, allowing her entry into the depths of one's consciousness. I'd lead her by the hand to the darkest corner of a brightly lit room. My sanctuary contains my fears, my story, and all of the promises I've never kept that I'll never remember now.

There are new promises I make to myself upon watching Julie bubble up with raw emotions I have inflicted on her for being the way I am. I am the reason she's drained of energy. Her sacrifices are high, her doubt has doubled. She stares at me in disbelief and regret. Does she regret being here with me? Sitting on the frozen ground of a long forgotten bathroom?

"You're doing it again." Julie jokes, standing up to move towards the sink. She cranks the handle up and drops of water plummet to the bottom of the rusted sink. She sighs and shuts it off, waits several seconds, then pushes it back up. The water flows freely now, the pressure slowly making improvement until Julie smiles approvingly. She bends over, soaking her face in the cool liquid before turning to me. "Come here."

I obey, shakily getting to my feet to approach her. She smiles at my clumsiness as I fall into the side of the sink. "Hold still," she commands. I fix my posture and stand completely upright. I train my eyes ahead. I feel empty, stuck inside my own unimportant mind like a prison. I'm a slave to the abyss darkness clouding my head and clogging my veins.

I hear a soft laugh and Julie is gently wiping my cheeks. She switches between wetting my skin and drying. Swipes blood off an area with a wet cloth then dries it with another. This continues until I feel no crust left behind by my snack on my skin. I lift a hand to my cheek and rub in a circle with my pointer finger. Julie rolls her eyes.

"You've always been a weird one." She comments, disengaging herself from whatever weight she has baring down on her shoulders. She can't handle it anymore. The emotions are too strong and she needs to be free. I see her shoulders slump and she leans against the wall. "I'm crazy, right? For thinking that you could come back a second time. It was nuts the first time you did. Impossible, but you did it." She squeezes her eyes shut, rubbing her forehead to ease the pain. I can see the wheels turning in her head, pushing old memories forward. She's a never ending cycle of misfortune and loss.

_So save her. _Perry says as if scolding me like a child. _Save her and she'll save you… _

"Maybe that's it, R. The impossible. I mean, think about it. That's what you are. The impossible man." Julie's eyes bore into me and I lower myself to the ground, crossing my legs as I look back up at her. Tears leak from her eyes and she has trouble wiping them all away.

"I thought Perry was invincible." She says after a long, dreadful moment of eerie silence. Her eyes are glazed over with tears she strains to hold back. Please don't talk about him. I don't want her to bring him up, not when he's in my head so vividly.

I shut my eyes, lifting my still dirty hands to my recently cleaned lips. A finger brushes against my bottom lip. I suck in a sharp breath. Memories flood my head I had blocked out before.

* * *

I am Blake Stevens. I am thirty-three years old. I am walking down the road, cocking my gun at the strange sounds echoing into my ears. The fear of a zombie attacking is very strong. They attack at any time and we always have to be prepared. I try not to worry when I'm not on outer patrol.

I continue moving down the road, kicking at rocks under my feet. I sigh, bored and tired from a long day walking. "Stevens?" Someone says behind me. I turn around and face a scrawny man, wearing a uniform that is two sizes too big. His black hair needs a wash. He needs a shave. "Get on the other side of the wall. Grigio's order."

I nod gingerly and wander towards the entrance, looking down anxiously at my gun. I haven't fired a round in days. My hands itch for the trigger. "No," I snap at myself and proceed further until I tap the wall. It creaks open enough for my body to slip through. "What's the problem?" I ask a uniformed man staring intensely straight ahead.

"They're coming." He replies, motioning with the gun down the road. I turn and shield my eyes from the sweltering sun. A group of them are running towards us like turtles with a purpose. Their arms flail. They have no purpose besides cracking our skulls and feasting on our brains. But something is different. One trails behind, his eyes unfocused and looking about curiously. He seems to stare at things and understand.

"Aim for their heads!" A tanned skin man barks, his gun cocking as he begins to move forward. Their plan is to meet this group half way.

"Wait. What's that one doing?" The scrawny man asks the tanned man. He points with his rifle to the zombie that caught my attention. One hand was loosely stuffed into a pocket of his-

_I don't want to see this. Stop it! Stop! _


	9. Chapter 9

_Breathe. Slowly allow air into your lungs that don't crave it. Breathe because you want to, not because you need to. Pretend to be alive for one more second. _

_Now, release the unwanted oxygen and open your eyes. You're nobody again. Welcome back. _

I grit my rotting teeth together and open my eyes as commanded. Julie is staring at me. I shrug slowly. She raises an eyebrow and cocks her head like a confused K9. I don't move, I don't blink in fear it'll set off some alarm.

"What've you got there? On your hands." She asks, crossing her arms over her chest as she bends down to my level.

I hide them behind me. I don't want her knowing what I've done. That I'm practically getting high off a deceased man's greatest hits. How was that a good memory? He was attacked. His friends died. He-

* * *

-red sweatshirt. His dark hair needs a cut, but he seems to not be bothered. Can the dead be bothered by something so trivial as uneven ends? He staggers forward, concentration hardly wanted. "Get _back_!" The tanned man yells. I stumble into action, lifting my gun to awkwardly point it forward. I'm not prepared for this.

But they proceed. I am faced with the observant zombie. His greyed eyes bore into me, amusement lingering behind the muted color. His lips begin to move in shapes. "You… Trying to say something?" I whisper and the tanned man curses at me.

"_Shoot it_!"

My gun doesn't lift. I continue to stare in awe at this new creature as he lifts a hand towards me.

"I'm…. _Sore_." The zombie stutters. I stumble backwards in amazement. Or fear. My back smacks against a small figure. I hear another curse.

This single member of the Dead has labeled me his. No others attack; they go after the free meat at my sides. That's all we are, _meat suits_.

"I'm…. _Sore._" He repeats and I grimace at his determination. I can see the struggle as his eyebrows scrunch together.

"Whoa. Did he just speak?" A girl's voice says from behind me. I risk a glance from the corner of my bloodshot eyes. Nora Greene is observing the dead man before me. She laughs and takes a quick step towards it. She approaches the zombie, her pistol hanging loosely from her right hand. "Speak again." She demands, lifting her gun to poke his forehead.

The zombie looks up at the gun curiously. He grabs Nora's wrist with such speed I briefly think he's alive. The tanned man yells an order, racing towards us as the zombie lunges. I retreat, ducking into the safe shadows of our border. I don't want to be seen. I want to disappear into the cement and metal wall. I squeeze my eyes shut. _I'm weak. _

By the time I reopen my burning eyes, the zombie is lying unconscious on the ground. I wonder why the tanned soldier didn't kill it, but I immediately realize he had gotten distracted straight after.

"Nora! You gotta get back inside! Now!" The tanned man insists.

Nora sighs, shrugging as she turns to saunter back into our fortress. "I could'a taken him, Perry."

* * *

_What did I just see? Perry? Perry! Answer me! _

_Chill. I'm here. That was a memory. Of that guy you killed. Remember? You ate his brains. Nasty stuff. _Perry sounds calm and I can detect laughter in his voice. He's amused.

_I didn't want to see that. I was there. Memories are supposed to be good! Why think of something like that when you're dying? You're supposed to think of something good and happy to make it important! To make it real! _I rant, my voice panicked as I struggle to bring myself out of the memory of a dead man.

Perry chuckles. _Come on, corpse. Think about it. Life is just as important as death. It's what you are. It's the circle of life, I guess. You start somewhere and you end somewhere. No going back, no coming back… Unless you're… You. _

I don't reply.

_See? You even know you're wrong. You don't belong because no one gets to live another day when they're dead. They cease to exist. _

I stay silent, I drag myself away from Perry and I open my eyes. Julie is staring at me with shock etched across her face. I stare back, confusion scribbled across mine. "What?" I finally ask as her stare begins to grow uncomfortable.

"You have… Brain gunk on your hands, don't you?" Julie crawls over, jerking my hands away from their safe habitat behind my back. She grabs a cloth and scrubs them clean. "You're an idiot." She mutters under her breath once she finishes. I shrug and she cracks a toothy smile. "You okay?"

I shrug.

"Stop that."

I shrug again and she sighs.

"Come on, cheese-ball. I know you can speak."

"I'm… _Sore_." I say like the memory had. Julie raises an eyebrow.

"What?"

"I'm… _Sorry._" There. The word is out. I've gathered the strength to capture the extra syllables.

Julie plops down on her butt and grins. "You're forgiven."

And that's all I need. I watch her as the letters form. I collect the words as they spill from her lips. I delicately handle each one as I engrave them into my brain. Is this bad? Wanting to remember this? _Her_? Wanting to breathe in her life and hope I somehow gather a magical dust within me that'll cure my darkened soul? I turn my attention back to Julie. I watch the emotions flicker across her face like a picture reel.

"Thank…" I begin, digging through files upon files of forgotten words stored in a dusty dictionary in my head. It serves no purpose; the words are too majestic and complicated. I can't finish. I can't say '_you'_, because by the time it has made it through my dead brain, the word has dwindled down into an unsatisfied, meaningless groan.

Julie nods, understanding my inner conflict. "Got it." She smiles and I feel my lips quiver. Am I smiling? They nudge upwards and Julie's smile widens. "Well, would you look at that? He smiles." She jokes, getting to her feet to go back to the sink. She gets a new towel I didn't realize she had. "Can I tell you something?" She asks as she stops her actions, turning her head to look at me.

I stand up and wander to her side. "Yes."

"Good." She replies, ringing the towel several more times before glancing back at me. "I…" She's nervous. She's scared. I blink, willing a true memory from the depths of my own Hell.

I can see her in my head, her body pressed against a window of an airplane. She's holding no weapons. _She's crying. _

"Julie." I say, her name slipping through my lips like butter. She forces a smile and nods.

"I love you, R." Julie grumbles, then curses under her breath and roughly shakes her head. "And you're…" She can't finish. Her body shakes with uncontainable tears. She leans against the sink and lifts her head. "You know you were in that cage for six days? Six days you were unconscious."

I want to shrug, but I resist it and sigh. "Sleep?" I offer and she laughs.

"Maybe, but it scared me, R." Julie shifts and moves closer to me. She places a hand on my neck and shuts her eyes. "You're warmer." Her eyes open and she grins, her lips stretching gleefully across her straight teeth. "R… If I kiss you, will I die?"

It's a familiar question. Yet it isn't one to be asked very often. I consider shrugging, but realize it will most likely ruin the moment. If this _is_ in fact a moment. But I don't _know_. Julie could go on living and not be affected by the dead in me, or she could blink and have no soul.

"I… Don't know." I say and risk the shrug. My shoulders hang for less than a second then fall back down. Julie does not acknowledge it.

"Okay. Guess we'll just have to see then, huh?" She leans towards me, her arms curling around my neck. I wonder if it will snap under her pressure, but she does not pull my head down forcefully. Her lips connect to mine and I melt into it.

Am I _kissing_?

Something crawls up my throat. I'm drowning in Death. The rejected bile and dry, malignant blood slithers up, wanting to take Julie into its grasp. I push it down. I force the death in me away.

And I feel it again. I feel like I'm falling. My crippled soul evolves into something bright and luminous. I become something new. I am not drowning in the darkened waters of a forgotten river. I am floating on my back to the distant shore. I am plunging into the depths of Julie's mind, ransacking every memory and labeling it my own. She is my life line. I live through her.

She pulls away and I am dead again. I am covered in a black film hiding my bursting, florescent thoughts. My mind is locked with a code I can't imagine to decipher. It burrows itself deeper into the back of my head until I can't even feel its presence.

A hard weight drops onto my shoulders and they slump. Julie glares at me with nothing even resembling anger. Its fear. Fear of the unknown and the uncontainable. "R?" She asks softly and I nod my head to show her I'm listening. "What's wrong?"

I shake my head. I've yet to discover a way to allow access into my head. Can Julie ever understand? _Does she understand_? I hear her grumble under her breath. "Julie?" I ask, glancing at her curiously. She pushes her hair into a pony tail and looks at me.

"What?"

I don't have a response. I don't have the exact words my mind desires. So I shrug and she smiles. And that's okay, because I know she understands. Whether with words or not, Julie has gained access to my inner most thoughts and my soul, be it deprived of a real life. I offer a crooked smile and Julie laughs. I like her laugh.

The door bursts open a bald man trudges through. "That… Mess is… _Yours_." He snaps, turning to glare at me. "So… Grow… _Up_… And clean… It!"

Julie's friend creeps into the room behind the man and sighs. "M's moody. Ignore him. I cleaned it up."

I feel a pinch. A shock so small I fear I imagined it. It twists my heart and I wheeze. All eyes are on me. What can I do? Stare back? Can I explain to them this abnormal pain tightening around my heart? I bow my head and stare at my chest. "Pain." I say simply. I don't care if they understand or not.

I shove past them and race onto the road. I follow it out of this sanctuary. I hear footsteps racing after me with such speed I am forced to pick up mine. "R!" Julie's voice rings into my ears and my body spasms. I have used too much energy that I didn't think I contained. I collapse, my limbs flailing until they are pinned down by M.

Julie's face hovers above me and I blink the dust out of my eyes. "Pain." I repeat and hope it's enough.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello! I'm so sorry for this being so late! I just haven't known what to write! And I still don't exactly, so this might seriously suck. Anyway, thank you for all those who have read and reviewed! I love reading what you think and _please keeping do that! _Also, I sadly don't own a single thing here besides my twisted story :)**

* * *

"Get… Off." I grunt, flipping my hands over to push my nails into M's meaty arms. He yelps, dragging his weight off my body as he stands.

"Then don't run." M replies, lifting a hand to point down at me lazily. "You'll get… Killed."

I shake my head furiously. Why am I the weak one? The one they all look out for? A gun would kill them as well. I am not the one with the desperate touch of humanity, so I am not weak. My mind yells at me, thoughts push forward and I continue to shake my head to clear it. _You have humanity. You're human in a weird as hell way. Don't you know? Don't you? _That isn't my voice and I frown. Perry has returned to drive rational thoughts into my head, force me to acknowledge something I don't want to realize. _Listen to me, corpse. You've got a brain, it thinks and it works. Kind of. But I'm here, talking to you through it, so it must work a fraction of the time. And you reply back with your own ideas and thoughts. That's thinking, corpse. You're human. Remember? You told me that once. _

"I didn't tell you anything." I whisper, the words flowing effortlessly from my parted lips. I raise an eyebrow at myself. Is this what it feels like to think and hear the words come out fluently? To have your ideas shared with the rest of the people you know are listening? And they are. Every person hovering above me, their eyes tracing over my features as I lay on the ground... They're all listening. I can tell Julie is more concentrated than the rest. Her eyes are dilated and I am her focal point.

"Did you just speak? As in a full sentence?" This voice does not belong to Julie. It contains a permanent trace of sarcasm and strength I have only heard from Julie's father. I turn my head to the side, glancing at the dark haired woman. Her hands are on her knees and she is watching me with a squint. Nora, this is Nora. Has someone told me her name? Have I seen her face?

_Yeah, a few times before. And in that vision thing you had earlier. She was fine, no thanks to you. Why do you have to be so damn curious about everything? Only thing that saved you, you know. Stopping and staring at us all until I knocked you down. But that bald friend of yours made it really hard to run. _Perry sighs and I recall the memory I had to endure by eating the man's brains. _You were like an animal. _

_Animal_. I was acting like an animal, feasting on that man. Wasn't I just called human? Humans are animals. We fight, we eat, we drink; we _all _live, somehow and in some way or the other. We mate, we embrace, we leave, and we _all _die. Yet we call ourselves humans to make a firm statement that we're "not like them"; humans are not animals and humans _are not_… Like_ me_. But what makes an animal an animal? What makes a dog… A dog? A cat a cat? We make up words and label things. I am a zombie to them. They are human to me. We are all animals, acting out of instinct with no rational thoughts.

How is this a better, more educated species? A species that I cannot seem to be a part of?

And we all kill. Humans kill animals for food, animals kill animals for food. I kill humans for food, and it is wrong. Are the Living zombies to animals?

"Hello? Earth to zombie boy?" Nora's face shields the sunlight from my eyes as she appears above me. I blink and she moves back slightly. "You totally zoned out. Julie was getting nervous."

Julie's face appears beside Nora's, taking up half of the space looming over me. I am engulfed by the shadows they bring with themselves and I mentally sigh. Shadows are dark, shadows aren't safe. But I stay in my place, obediently listening to M's suggestion. No running, because Julie wouldn't let me go. She would follow, I know this.

"R? What are you thinking?" Julie asks and I count how many times she has asked me this in my head. I settle on 'many times', because I can't seem to get very far in my counting.

"Humans." I say, my eyes wandering over her face as I drag my thoughts back over to my conscious mind. _Humans are like animals, corpse. Whether dead or alive, in your case._

"What about them?"

"Like animals." I shut my eyes, sensing her smile as the energy of it vibrates off and soaks into my skin.

Julie laughs and I feel her hand on my cheek. "Animals aren't so bad. Yeah, we're a lot like them, but we're…" She trails off and I open my eyes. She looks lost for words, trapped in an explanation that won't leave her lips.

"Like animals," I repeat and she nods.

"Yeah… Yeah, we're like animals. But you know what?"

"What?" I ask, confusion striking my face as my lips curve into a frown and my eyebrows scrunch together. I wait for her next sentence with the anticipation a child would have with a new episode of their favorite television series.

Julie beams at me and brushes a hand over my forehead. She acts as if no one is watching us, like I didn't just try to run away. "Love is universal. It touches every species, R. Did you think of that?" She pauses and I shake my head. "Animals love too. So would it be that bad to be an animal?"

I feel my spirits lift and I rise to a sitting position. Julie moves with me and I finally return her bright smile. But I don't reply, I don't have to. M steps forward, patting my shoulder with a clumsy strength. "Animals… Naked." He says into my ear with a chuckle and I resist another smile. "Humans… _You_… _We _wear clothes." He stops his joking and for a moment his face is unreadable, until his lips part again to speak, "some… animals wear clothes. Looks stupid."

* * *

**It's a bit short, but I'm having writer's block with this right now. Which will hopefully pass very soon! Review please!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey! Thank you to the ones who supported the story even when I wasn't posting new chapters :) I kind of had issues with getting ideas going. I still do. But I hope you all like this chapter! I'll post the next one hopefully sooner than I posted this one! Thank you and keep reviewing please :D**

* * *

I am in existence for nothing but four reasons. Julie Grigio, the girl who will not let me live a dead man. Perry Kelvin, the dead boy I devoured and who now resigns in the back of my broken head. And M, who stares at me with such pity I feel like dying all over again.

Then there's me and the fact I don't want to go on like this. A real death would be less painful than being dead with a consciousness.

This room is dark. I am surrounded by blood stained walls, liquids dripping off onto the lifeless bodies tossed upon each other on the hard floor. They are not dead, nor are they alive. But they don't even try. I don't know why I still try. Maybe for the same reasons as always, but they fell into a forgotten category right after dumping me here.

Julie is changing me. I give in, I don't give up. I don't give in, and in some way or the other, I give up. I die and I rot away. Or I become a Boney and live for the next century while Julie rots in a grave.

I shake my head to push the thoughts away. Julie in a grave is not where I want my mind to take me. I want to breathe in fresh air, allow my slow functioning lungs to inhale and-

_Corpse. _

"…Perry?" I ask softly. I'm surprised to find he has not left me as well.

_You're breathing. That's one step back to the real world. _

I blink. Then blink again. My mind slowly turns on the information, welcoming it like an old friend. Breathing. I'm breathing. No more wheezing or unintentional groaning. I don't know why we groan. I guess it just happens from what our lungs want to do, but can't. And now mine can.

I drag myself up from the ground, surveying the new home I had been tossed away into like trash. Though this wasn't Julie or Nora or even M's idea, I am still hidden away with the remaining zombies they had rounded up and somehow couldn't convert.

I begin to sway, rocking back and forth with lost hope. General Grigio's direct order to send me here was to be taken seriously, the fear for Julie's well-being clear.

_You won't hurt her. _

"Are… You sure?" I whisper, questioning Perry with every turn. I have every reason to trust him, but every reason to not.

_She's Jules. Julie. The blonde girl you can't get out of your head. It sounds weird, doesn't it? I mean, you are dead._

I frown, grinding my teeth together as I glance down at the bodies of my fellow members of the Dead. "Don't… Trust." I mumble, shuffling back to my cleaner corner. I collapse against the wall, sliding down until I feel the ground beneath me. "Need… To explain. To… Tell her."

_Tell her what? That you didn't want to run away? Sure. Just like you didn't mean to eat her ex._

"I'm… Sorry." It feels refreshing to be able to say things like that. To be able to portray emotions I didn't think I had.

Something pokes at my thigh and I become distracted. Locking myself into a very awkward position, I dig a hand into the pocket of my jeans. My fingers slip around the creases of fabric standing up in small hills, forcing my search to run longer than anticipated. In a matter of minutes, I pull out a worn photo. Blinking a few times, I focus my vision. The picture soon becomes see-able.

"Julie." I say, waving it in the air as if I had just won an award. But it is better than any award I can possibly imagine. This is my key to something more. In my paled, scarred hands lay a picture of the girl I continue to be amazed by. Julie Grigio, though she looks more surprised than ever. I force it back into my pocket, knocking my head back against the concrete wall.

"Julie," I repeat, louder than before. "Julie. Julie." My voice rises, my syllables sharper and more fluent. "Julie." I say one last time and I hear a chuckle. A nice, warm laugh.

Julie moves into my line of sight. She is standing behind the bars to my prison, bars I hadn't noticed before due to the darkness outside matching my jail walls. "I was wondering when you'd call." She joked, resting a shoulder against a bar as she smirks.

I stumble back to my feet, delicately stepping around bodies as they groan in response. I step on a few shoulders, knees and fingers, but they don't seem to mind. I'm not sure I would either. "Julie," I say again, the sheer pleasure of her name bringing hope to me. She has a nice name. A nice name, a nice laugh. I realize I'm staring and I force my eyes down as I approach.

She laughs again, reaching a hand through the bars to drag my head up by the chin. "You know, the staring was creeping when I hardly knew you. But I've admitted a few things now and whether you remember or not…" She trails off, biting her lip as she smiles weakly. "Look, my dad's got some mission thing in one of the suburbs a few miles away. He left twenty minutes ago. I've been standing here for about four hours. I'm tired and you're obviously not going anywhere… Unless you agree to a few things." Another smirk in my direction and she gains my full attention.

"What?" I ask, raising my eyebrows as I rest my forehead on a bar. It is cold, colder than the floor. Though I don't find myself questioning the temperatures anymore. I've gotten cold enough times after meeting Julie that I have come to terms with the human aspects coming out in me.

"No eating the host." She whispers, and I feel her breath on my cheek. I hear a click and the bar moves away from my face. I drop backwards, cocking my head in mild surprise. What she is doing is risky, daring. But for _me_. She opens it a crack, nodding as she licks her top teeth with a smile. "Come on."

I stay where I am. I don't move. Most would call me scared, afraid of what would happen if I let Julie guide me away. But I now know I can trust myself around her. And I am sure she knows how safe she is with me. Yet I still don't move. I can't.

_Need a push? _

And my feet move. I fall into Julie, who chuckles and wraps her arm around my torso. "Whoa there, forget how to walk again?" I awkwardly lean into her, draping my right arm over her shoulders as I stare down at her. I don't realize we begin to walk crooked until she tightens her hold on me. "Okay, eyes on the road, buddy." She mutters upon catching the reason as to why we can't follow the path of travel. I gulp, turn my head away from her and staple my eyes onto the road ahead. It is dark and I wonder how Julie can see so well.

We continue walking until I can't walk anymore. My knees shake, my lungs heave. Julie smiles and jokes, saying things like "out of shape". I don't understand and I continue to let her say things I will never be able to decipher.

_I'm surprised you lasted that long. You guys have walked a few miles. _Perry says, whistling right before he sighs. _Though I've seen you walk longer. Maybe you're just too hungry. _

I shake my head, trying to shove Perry out of it. I can't be hungry; I can't ruin whatever is happening now. Whatever Julie is doing. I look over at her, catching the reflection of light in her eyes as she stares up at the house I faintly remember. There are no longer giant walls surrounding the city, only barbed fences, and that is only to keep out strangers until they clear security. I can not recall passing it, though it is only logical that we did.

We are standing in front of a rundown house, a single candle burning in a window and a cherry colored car sitting in the driveway. "I would've driven here, but I thought people would notice more." Julie says, removing her arm from around me and catching my hand. She guides me to the porch, wandering into the house with a relieved sigh. Empty cans that once stored beans lay out on a coffee table, as well as a magazine portraying some famous celebrity. And supposedly how she celebrates her birth-

"R?" I glance at Julie, nodding with anticipation as I consider what she may say. Though I don't have any expectations, I pray it isn't sitting around and letting her read magazines. She smiles at the look I give, dragging me towards the stairs. They creak under our weight, but we proceed anyway. "Look, we came here when you were bringing me back home. This house… This is a memory. But I'm not going to make you sleep on the floor this time." She jokes, drops my hand and opens a door. She disappears behind it as I stall in the hallway. I glance at a few family photos left behind by the past residents of the house. A family of very, very large people. I grunt, turn away and shuffle in behind Julie.


End file.
